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What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux


Cause some of y’all act like you don’t have any home training.  We gotta come behind your parents and re-raise you.  lol jk So here’s What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux.  I have added a few from the suggestions I have gotten and given credit to the originator.  Enjoy!

What You Not Gonna Do Is…

1. Know someone is dead wrong but you find a reason why they still a good person, especially when you don’t even know them.  ie The momma who killed her kids.

2.  Not pay child support for the kids you got but keep making more babies!<—Sherita

3.  Wait ’til your child is 18 to tell the daddy or your husband that the child is not his.

4.  Hold up the gym equipment talking on your cell phone.  You came to the gym to workout not socialize.<—Darcy

5.  Have a conversation with people and because you have a New York accent you try to out talk EVERYBODY.

6.  As a grown woman you should not own, wear, or borrow any article of clothing that bears such sayings as “Baby Girl”, “Diva”, “Ghetto Fabulous”, “Sexy”, “Gold Digga”…you get my drift.

7.  Not tell your friend she looks a hot mess.

8.  Be over the age of 40 and have body piercings except for your ears.

9.  Be too matchy matchy.  You shouldn’t have a pink shirt, belt, headband, shoes and nails.

10.Wait ’til tax time to become a baller, knowing good and well you are gonna be back on Section 8 by April or having to return that mess.

11.Not wear a bra when you leave the house…no explanation needed.

12.Assume your man or woman can read your mind…let them know exactly what you want.

13. “Play dumb” solely for the purpose of flirting…it is not cute.

14. Hit a man without expecting negative repercussions or getting a concussion.  Keep your hands to yourself.

15. Force your children to have the talent you never had, then get mad cause they aren’t good at it.

16. Slash tires, bust windows, key the exterior, spray paint vulgar words on your mates vehicle-especially if you’re gonna help get the car fixed once you calm down.

17. Brag about how your man loves you cause he’s there when you need him, not acknowledging it’s because he doesn’t have a job nor a car.

18. Be divorced for years still trying to keep tabs on your ex by attempting to pick information from your grown children…it’s over, everyone knows except you.

19. Date an older person and then complain about how old they act.

20. Give your child a toy at the store to shut them up while you shop and then get rid of it before you check out…it’s child abuse. 😀 (I’ve done this lol)

21. Tell your children your new boyfriend is their uncle…this will only confuse them in the long run.

22. Try to carry on a bag that needs to be checked, holding up the plane.<—Whitney

23. Have a camel toe…check yourself woman!

24. Wear colored undergarmets under white…it’s tacky.

25. Date your friends ex cause they’re fine.

26. Attempt to sell something used for the new price.

27. Get married to someone you know slept around beforehand and be surprised when it happens in your marriage.

28. Use Facebook to rant about your job and wonder why you lost your job.

29. Be a man and think you control the remote to the TV.

30. Watch the food network, concoct a meal and then force someone to eat it…you’re not a gourmet chef.

31. Watch the food network knowing you don’t cook.

32. Go in debt buying everything from the infomercials…then be mad cause it doesn’t work like they said it should. SHAM-WOW!

33. Every-time you update your Facebook status it’s depressing.

34. Be mad at your mate for not getting you a Valentines gift but you get whatever you want every other day.

35. Keep your apartment dirty and scared to call the landlord to fix stuff cause you have to clean up.

36. Buy a bunch of junk you don’t need and not pay your rent or car payment… take care of home first.

37. When you see a tow truck in your neighborhood you automatically assume they coming to get your car.

38. Blame the teacher cause your child got a bad grade.

39. Live up North and complain about the snow…move!

40. Go to a remote location in the world where they have unheard of diseases and wonder how you got sick.

41. Dress your baby girl like a baby hooker and wonder why she’s pregnant at 11…you’re sending the wrong message.

42. Broadcast your business on Facebook and turn around and tell people to stay out of your business.

43. Rant about someone on Facebook and then use their initials like we don’t know who you talking about.

44. Ship your children off to their grandparents for the summer talking about they need some discipline.

45. Delete people on Facebook thinking you really hurting them in real life…get it together.

46. Blame the devil or God for everything bad that happens to you.

47. Make up your own religion.

48. Dress like you going to the club just to go to Wal-Mart.

49. Wear UGG boots in the summer.

50. Beg your man to hit you and when he does you call the cops.(Sounds unheard of but it happens. )

51. Use your children as leverage against their father…because it didn’t work out with you and the father you do not have the right to interfere in their relationship, GROW UP!

52. Have children for your financial gain.  ie, child support, section 8, etc.

53. Have children to trap a man.

54. Be rich acting like a hood rat on TV. (All the real housewives, baller wives, etc)

55. Yell across the mall or store at your friend.

56. Watch Forensic Files to educate yourself on how to commit a homicide and get away with it.

57. Sleep with everyone at your job and wonder why you’re not getting promoted.

58. Have an argument in public and tell everyone to mind they business.

59. Have your income tax check spent before you get it.

60. Pass gas, not say anything, and then apologize once someone smells it.

61. Blame your kids for your breakdown.

62. Stay up late and wonder why you are so tired. 😀

63. Butt in my conversation when no one is talking to you or called your name…nosey.

64. Use big words and not know what they mean.

65. Try everything celebrities tell you to try.

66. Influence me to try some illegals drugs cause it make you feel good.

67. Start experimenting with drugs as an adult like you don’t know any better…you already know the outcome.

68. Have grown children and not encourage them to be independent.

69. Do what they do in rap videos.

70. Live your life based on your horoscope predictions.

71. Think because you’re black and its black history month you can do and say what you want. ( Just telling you what I’ve seen and heard.)

72. Be rude to someone and you don’t even know them.

73. Use patio furniture inside the house like it’s a living room set.

74. Buy an electric car and be mad at the electric company  because your bill is too high.

75. Get a tattoo in remembrance of everybody you know that dies.

76. Yell at the actors during a movie like they can hear you. lol

77. Consider yourself someone’s friend and tell all their business to everyone behind their back…you are not their friend.

78. Spend Valentines day stalking your ex.

79. Go to the movies with your kids and break out ziplock bags of snacks. (I’ve done this)

80. Think everyone is out to steal your pin when you swipe your card at the store-you do realize they need the card number as well.

81. Call people while you are pooping…hello people can tell you’re in the bathroom. 😀

82. Hit someone and not expect them to hit you back.

83. Say and do hurtful things to your mate and wonder why they don’t want to be with you anymore…psst it’s because they can’t trust you with their most intimate emotions.

84. Be talking loud in public and get mad when someone tells you to shut up.

85. Steal something from someone and then floss it in front of them.

86. Tell your mate to get out and get mad when they pack their stuff and leave then beg them to stay…stop playing with people emotions, trying to control them.

87. When you leave, act like you forgot something just so you can come back. 😀

88. Spy on your ex through their family members.

89. Hide your vehicle cause you know you haven’t been making your payments.

90. Get mad cause you were eavesdropping on people and realize they were talking about you.

91. Come to my house blow up my toilet and leave stains…you nasty.

92. Get mad when you lose at a board game. rotflmbo(my family is so guilty of this…we HATE to lose even if it’s Trouble. :D)

93. Shoot someone over a game of Spades…people get mad when you renege. 😀

94. Try to pick up women in a minivan…go home to your wife and kids.

95. Think you look cool in your minivan.

96. Put 22″ rims on your minivan…it’s a family vehicle it looks just plain silly.

97. Try on new shoes with holes in your socks.

98. Let someone use your bathroom and you haven’t cleaned it…that’s why I wait ’til I get home.

99. Have expensive rims and sound system on your car when it’s falling apart.

100. Commit an offense that is going to end up on my next “What You Not Gonna Do Is…” list.

This is for entertainment purposes.  I hope you enjoyed it. 😉

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