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My Sister is Leaving Me


Me and my sister

Everyone that knows me knows that I do not like to get all mushy about my feelings and it is really rare for me to tell you how I feel.  I wanted to express to my sister, Whitney Dionne Ellis, how much I love her and of course I cannot tell her because I do not want to cry.  This is the best way I could think of to tell her and she will have a constant reminder.  This is for you sister.

Whitney,

I remember when mom brought you home.  I was so happy to have a sister.  For so long it was just me and Pumpkin, we both know how weird he is.  Seriously, we were great together but when you came I had someone just like me.  I immediately wanted to help take care of you and that’s what I did.  Every time we went anywhere you would scream your head off because you hated that car seat.  I would pick you up and hold you in my arms to get you to calm down.  (This was before they set the safety standards of course.)  I can remember dressing you and doing your hair.  As I got older you used to want to tag-a-long behind me and I hated that.  I did not understand that I was an example for you.  I promised myself that I would always take care of you.

You are a very beautiful young woman.  I am so thankful and grateful that you came to stay with me and I loved our time together.  I really appreciate your help in my time of need.  You are not just my sister but you’re my best friend.  Now that you are leaving for Indonesia with the Peace Corps, I am afraid.  You are going to be so far away, how will I be able to protect you?  I won’t be able to talk to you when I want.  Nevertheless, I am so proud of you for stepping out on faith and taking this journey in your life.  I was so supportive and excited for you when you decided to do this but know that the reality is setting in and the time is drawing near my heart is breaking.  I apologize for not being strong throughout.  I know that you will be fine and that you have an assignment to fulfill, not just with the Peace Corps.  I love you and you better Skype with me as often as you can.  I wanted to write so much more but I keep crying so I am going to stop.

Love,

Your Big Sis

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What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux


Cause some of y’all act like you don’t have any home training.  We gotta come behind your parents and re-raise you.  lol jk So here’s What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux.  I have added a few from the suggestions I have gotten and given credit to the originator.  Enjoy!

What You Not Gonna Do Is…

1. Know someone is dead wrong but you find a reason why they still a good person, especially when you don’t even know them.  ie The momma who killed her kids.

2.  Not pay child support for the kids you got but keep making more babies!<—Sherita

3.  Wait ’til your child is 18 to tell the daddy or your husband that the child is not his.

4.  Hold up the gym equipment talking on your cell phone.  You came to the gym to workout not socialize.<—Darcy

5.  Have a conversation with people and because you have a New York accent you try to out talk EVERYBODY.

6.  As a grown woman you should not own, wear, or borrow any article of clothing that bears such sayings as “Baby Girl”, “Diva”, “Ghetto Fabulous”, “Sexy”, “Gold Digga”…you get my drift.

7.  Not tell your friend she looks a hot mess.

8.  Be over the age of 40 and have body piercings except for your ears.

9.  Be too matchy matchy.  You shouldn’t have a pink shirt, belt, headband, shoes and nails.

10.Wait ’til tax time to become a baller, knowing good and well you are gonna be back on Section 8 by April or having to return that mess.

11.Not wear a bra when you leave the house…no explanation needed.

12.Assume your man or woman can read your mind…let them know exactly what you want.

13. “Play dumb” solely for the purpose of flirting…it is not cute.

14. Hit a man without expecting negative repercussions or getting a concussion.  Keep your hands to yourself.

15. Force your children to have the talent you never had, then get mad cause they aren’t good at it.

16. Slash tires, bust windows, key the exterior, spray paint vulgar words on your mates vehicle-especially if you’re gonna help get the car fixed once you calm down.

17. Brag about how your man loves you cause he’s there when you need him, not acknowledging it’s because he doesn’t have a job nor a car.

18. Be divorced for years still trying to keep tabs on your ex by attempting to pick information from your grown children…it’s over, everyone knows except you.

19. Date an older person and then complain about how old they act.

20. Give your child a toy at the store to shut them up while you shop and then get rid of it before you check out…it’s child abuse. 😀 (I’ve done this lol)

21. Tell your children your new boyfriend is their uncle…this will only confuse them in the long run.

22. Try to carry on a bag that needs to be checked, holding up the plane.<—Whitney

23. Have a camel toe…check yourself woman!

24. Wear colored undergarmets under white…it’s tacky.

25. Date your friends ex cause they’re fine.

26. Attempt to sell something used for the new price.

27. Get married to someone you know slept around beforehand and be surprised when it happens in your marriage.

28. Use Facebook to rant about your job and wonder why you lost your job.

29. Be a man and think you control the remote to the TV.

30. Watch the food network, concoct a meal and then force someone to eat it…you’re not a gourmet chef.

31. Watch the food network knowing you don’t cook.

32. Go in debt buying everything from the infomercials…then be mad cause it doesn’t work like they said it should. SHAM-WOW!

33. Every-time you update your Facebook status it’s depressing.

34. Be mad at your mate for not getting you a Valentines gift but you get whatever you want every other day.

35. Keep your apartment dirty and scared to call the landlord to fix stuff cause you have to clean up.

36. Buy a bunch of junk you don’t need and not pay your rent or car payment… take care of home first.

37. When you see a tow truck in your neighborhood you automatically assume they coming to get your car.

38. Blame the teacher cause your child got a bad grade.

39. Live up North and complain about the snow…move!

40. Go to a remote location in the world where they have unheard of diseases and wonder how you got sick.

41. Dress your baby girl like a baby hooker and wonder why she’s pregnant at 11…you’re sending the wrong message.

42. Broadcast your business on Facebook and turn around and tell people to stay out of your business.

43. Rant about someone on Facebook and then use their initials like we don’t know who you talking about.

44. Ship your children off to their grandparents for the summer talking about they need some discipline.

45. Delete people on Facebook thinking you really hurting them in real life…get it together.

46. Blame the devil or God for everything bad that happens to you.

47. Make up your own religion.

48. Dress like you going to the club just to go to Wal-Mart.

49. Wear UGG boots in the summer.

50. Beg your man to hit you and when he does you call the cops.(Sounds unheard of but it happens. )

51. Use your children as leverage against their father…because it didn’t work out with you and the father you do not have the right to interfere in their relationship, GROW UP!

52. Have children for your financial gain.  ie, child support, section 8, etc.

53. Have children to trap a man.

54. Be rich acting like a hood rat on TV. (All the real housewives, baller wives, etc)

55. Yell across the mall or store at your friend.

56. Watch Forensic Files to educate yourself on how to commit a homicide and get away with it.

57. Sleep with everyone at your job and wonder why you’re not getting promoted.

58. Have an argument in public and tell everyone to mind they business.

59. Have your income tax check spent before you get it.

60. Pass gas, not say anything, and then apologize once someone smells it.

61. Blame your kids for your breakdown.

62. Stay up late and wonder why you are so tired. 😀

63. Butt in my conversation when no one is talking to you or called your name…nosey.

64. Use big words and not know what they mean.

65. Try everything celebrities tell you to try.

66. Influence me to try some illegals drugs cause it make you feel good.

67. Start experimenting with drugs as an adult like you don’t know any better…you already know the outcome.

68. Have grown children and not encourage them to be independent.

69. Do what they do in rap videos.

70. Live your life based on your horoscope predictions.

71. Think because you’re black and its black history month you can do and say what you want. ( Just telling you what I’ve seen and heard.)

72. Be rude to someone and you don’t even know them.

73. Use patio furniture inside the house like it’s a living room set.

74. Buy an electric car and be mad at the electric company  because your bill is too high.

75. Get a tattoo in remembrance of everybody you know that dies.

76. Yell at the actors during a movie like they can hear you. lol

77. Consider yourself someone’s friend and tell all their business to everyone behind their back…you are not their friend.

78. Spend Valentines day stalking your ex.

79. Go to the movies with your kids and break out ziplock bags of snacks. (I’ve done this)

80. Think everyone is out to steal your pin when you swipe your card at the store-you do realize they need the card number as well.

81. Call people while you are pooping…hello people can tell you’re in the bathroom. 😀

82. Hit someone and not expect them to hit you back.

83. Say and do hurtful things to your mate and wonder why they don’t want to be with you anymore…psst it’s because they can’t trust you with their most intimate emotions.

84. Be talking loud in public and get mad when someone tells you to shut up.

85. Steal something from someone and then floss it in front of them.

86. Tell your mate to get out and get mad when they pack their stuff and leave then beg them to stay…stop playing with people emotions, trying to control them.

87. When you leave, act like you forgot something just so you can come back. 😀

88. Spy on your ex through their family members.

89. Hide your vehicle cause you know you haven’t been making your payments.

90. Get mad cause you were eavesdropping on people and realize they were talking about you.

91. Come to my house blow up my toilet and leave stains…you nasty.

92. Get mad when you lose at a board game. rotflmbo(my family is so guilty of this…we HATE to lose even if it’s Trouble. :D)

93. Shoot someone over a game of Spades…people get mad when you renege. 😀

94. Try to pick up women in a minivan…go home to your wife and kids.

95. Think you look cool in your minivan.

96. Put 22″ rims on your minivan…it’s a family vehicle it looks just plain silly.

97. Try on new shoes with holes in your socks.

98. Let someone use your bathroom and you haven’t cleaned it…that’s why I wait ’til I get home.

99. Have expensive rims and sound system on your car when it’s falling apart.

100. Commit an offense that is going to end up on my next “What You Not Gonna Do Is…” list.

This is for entertainment purposes.  I hope you enjoyed it. 😉

Childs Best Interest


Halle Berry has been in the news lately because she is in a custody battle with her daughter’s father.  I do not know all the details in this very personal issue but I personally know about custody issues. 

I got pregnant with my oldest son, now 13, at 16 years old.  As you can imagine I was very afraid.  I juggled between keeping him or giving him up for adoption.  When I finally decided to keep my baby I told his father that no matter what happens between us that I would never keep him away from his son.  After I graduated from high school we married and I joined the military.  My son stayed with his father and my parents throughout my training and part of my first duty station.  During my time away from my husband I reflected on our relationship.  I went through a lot of mistreatment through the years with him and was afraid to experience that with him for the rest of my life.  About a year after being married I decided that I didn’t want to be married to him.  We divorced and I brought my son overseas with me.  About a year after my divorce I married my current husband.  I later got out of the military and my husband was stationed in El Paso, where my family resides.

Through the years my son would visit back and forth with his father.  In the beginning our communications with one another were filled with yelling and sometimes name calling.  We gradually learned how to better communicate to be able to parent our son together.  Our son even stayed the school year with his father during his 2nd and 4th grade school years.  During this time our communication became a lot better.  We would talk about any and everything.  One could even go so far as to say we were friends.  Whenever my ex-husband wanted to see his son all he had to do was call.  No matter if he paid child support or not, no matter if it was his scheduled visitation, anytime, all he had to do was call.  Things were good, or so I thought.

Shortly after I gave birth to my baby boy and was released from the hospital, in February 2007, I was served custody papers.  My son was already staying with his dad for his 4th grade year.  My ex-husband gave me no sign that this was coming.  He changed his numbers and ceased contact with me.  I thought I was going to die, that I would never see my son again.  All these years I thought I was doing what was best for not just my son but also his father who loved him very much, I was being sued for custody.  Unbeknownst to me, when you have primary custody and you allow your child to live with the other parent for 6 months or longer you automatically lose your custody to the other parent.  During this time he even claimed that our home was unstable because of the military and having to move.  Needless to say I was hurt and wanted my son back.  During this time I grew very angry and bitter with his father for being so underhanded to me after all that I had done for him to maintain his relationship with his son and he pulled this.  The judge granted custody back to me and my son returned home in the summer of 2007. 

In the beginning after the case my ex stopped calling our son and asking to visit with him.  My son grew angry and I couldn’t stand to see him like that.  I called his dad and left a message telling him that no matter what we go through he needs to continue to be there for his son. (Something like that, I was still angry with him myself)  His dad gradually started coming back around.  We eventually worked through our differences and he apologized for what he did to me.  Things were looking up.  My son would visit his father when it was scheduled. 

In 2008 my husband deployed to Afghanistan.  It was a difficult time for our family.  My oldest son was having problems in school and was fighting a lot.  In early 2009 we received orders to PCS to South Carolina.  I told our children.  None of them were happy about moving to South Carolina and they all wanted to stay in Texas.  My oldest son was especially upset about this possible move. He didn’t want to leave his friends.  He asked me if he could stay with his dad during this move and I told him no.  I wasn’t going to be sued again, I thought to myself.  He was angry with my decision and really started acting out.  He kept acting out and wouldn’t listen to anything I asked of him.  It got so bad that I had to consider that staying with his father was probably best.  

I finally gave in because I didn’t know what else to do.  I had to remove myself from the situation and put myself in my son’s shoes.  He kept asking me why couldn’t he stay with his dad.  I had to really sit there and ponder that question.  This is his father, his other parent, not a stranger.  Could he really not parent his son just because we weren’t together?  Is living with mom always best?  I called his dad and asked him if it was he would alright with him if our son stayed with him and of course he said it was fine with him. 

 As the summer approached and time grew near for my husband to return, my son grew anxious and acting out even more.  He was staying out passed his curfew and defying everything I said.  I called his father and told him that if our son didn’t straighten up he wasn’t going to stay with him.  My son heard what was said and became furious.  He lunged and attacked me.  At this time he was taller and bigger than me.  I never thought I would see that day that I would have to fight my son.  He finally calmed down and the MPs confined him to his room until his dad arrived to pick him up from Dallas, which was three hours away from where we resided. 

My son is now living with his father and doing well.  He’s not getting into so much trouble and he’s making good grades.  My heart aches for him everyday but I know that he is where he needs to be.  I recently visited with  him and went to his football games, which he is great at.  He is so tall and becoming an amazing young man.  He is a bit on the selfish side but it’s the teen years so I’m sure this is a phase and he will grow out of it. 

I had to learn that what is best for your child is not always what you want.  What’s best for a child is to have both of their parents, even if they’re not together.  It is really hard on them when their parents aren’t together.  I watched and listened to my son so desperately want his parents together like his siblings.  No matter how great our homes were and filled with love, he always felt and still feels out-of-place.  I don’t know how to help him with those feelings but I know as he gets older and gains a better understanding he will be fine.  His father and I keep reassuring him that he is loved by so many people.  As parents we have to put our feelings aside and do what is best for our children so they can be as happy as possible.  I’m just saying.

Friends With an Ex


Hello Ms. Tangled,
 
I was just thinking about what a shame it is that some people do not know how to be broken up! and I was wondering what your thoughts were on being friends with ex lovers??
 
anonymous

Dear anonymous,

Break ups are usually nasty to begin with.  There are a lot of hurt emotions that must be dealt with, if they were not resolved prior to the break up.  I believe that when a couple breaks up they should take some time to themselves to “regroup”.  There are those instances where an ex just hangs around and doesn’t quit get the hint that they’re actually not still together.  It screams desperate and a bit stalkerish.  I have heard far too often when people break up they use the classic line, “Let’s just be friends” but really.  If you were sexually involved with one another that may prove to be really difficult to uphold because that soul tie will always be there.  Especially if one should move on you really do not want your ex, now friend, hanging around. Talk about awkward.  I’m not saying that it isn’t possible to be friends with an ex.  I think once you are over those feelings for them it is totally possible.  Although I would advise that you both move on.  You don’t want to cause any further complications.

If you have children with an ex I feel that you definitely should try to be friends if not kosher with one another for the sake of the child.  You DO NOT want to constantly be fighting with one another about everything and every time the other calls.  You don’t have to just deal with this person until your child turns 18 but when they go to college, get married and have children.  The two of you are going to have to be in each others lives for, forever.  Why not make it peaceful for the sake of your child.  I feel that those that purposely create “drama” whether the father or mother still have an emotional attachment to the other that they are not ready to get over.  The drama maker only makes it worse for themselves because as that child gets older you may be the parent that they choose to leave out of their happiness because you always bring the “drama”. 

It’s surely is possible to be friends once you have dealt with those emotions and have moved on and know for certain that you don’t want to go back down that road with them.  I’m just saying. 🙂

He Has Put His Foot Down!


For as long as I can remember I have been a night owl.  I remember as a little girl while everyone slept I was wide awake.  To occupy my time I would lie in bed and read or just stare out the window.  I have tried on numerous occassions to go to bed early but by 10pm I am wide awake.  I know that my sleeping habits are a problem.  Last night I briefly told my husband that I have to do better for my baby boy.  As long as I’m awake my papa bear is up with me.  Two nights this week we were up until 3 and 4am.  I know, I feel awful about this.  That’s why I was talking to my husband about it.  The whole point in telling Jeremiah my problem was to confess  and accept that, “I have a problem”.  My plan was to go to the doctor for help.  Noooo, my dear husband took it upon himself to fix my problem.

I usually go to bed with the laptop so if I have an idea all I need to do is reach under the bed and grab it.  Look I know that this is part of my problem. 🙂 Moving on.  So last night I go to bed, not to sleep but to watch TV.  I noticed that my husband had already sent the boys to bed at 9pm, even my baby boy.  My baby wasn’t asleep but as usual he was in bed watching TV, playing.  😀  My show came on at 10pm and Jeremiah watched it with me.  Afterward we watched part of my recording of Teen Mom 2.  At 11pm I pick up my laptop to tend to my city in CityVille.  As I got into my city, Jeremiah tells me to turn off the laptop and go to bed.  What!  Me!  Wait a minute who was he talking to.  Obviously not me.  Oh but he was talking to me.   I tried to put up a fight and he wasn’t having it.  My husband put his foot down.  Meany.  😦 I told him I was going to sleep when Teen Mom was over and he sternly replies, “go to bed“. I even tried the puppy dog face, he always falls for the puppy dog face.  NOTHING! Can you believe he rolled over.  Awful right? Needless to say I was in the bed by 11:30 pm.  I tossed and turned for a few minutes and was out.  I’m up now at 0630 feeling pretty good.  My husband is still a meany.  I guess there’s no need to go to the doctor because Dr. Evans has just what I need.  😀 To put his foot down and give me a bed time.

My sons


I have four sons and of course they’re girl crazy, even the baby.  I’m glad they like girls.  Why is it that when they talk about their little “girlfriends” I get uneasy?  I promised myself that I would be the mom that my boys could talk to about anything.  When they talk about these girls I end up saying what my parents would say to me, “boy you need to stop worrying about them girls and worry about your schoolwork.”  I actually mean that!  I used to get annoyed when my parents would say it and now I’M SAYING IT!  I’m so bad about it that I roll my eyes at these little girls flirting with my sons and I swear these little girls are fast in the pants.  lol  I need help! Recently I had lunch with my middle son at his school.  Sitting right beside him, a little too close if you ask me, was one of his female classmates.  Every time I would talk to him or anyone else at the table she’d add her two cents.  When I got to the car my sister says, “you know that little girl beside him was his girlfriend?”  Of course he didn’t tell me because as he told my sister, “mom might get mad”.   I never thought I’d see the day that I was the crazy, overprotective mother.  They’re my babies.  I look at them and still remember when I cradled them in my arms.  Every time I look at them I feel time is slipping away.  They’re quickly becoming young men not my little boys.  Now they are keeping things from me and I’m NOT the mom they can talk to about everything.  I need to make a better effort to listen and relate to them, so they will be comfortable coming to me.  I don’t want to be left out.

Scentsy Please


Click to be directed to the Scentsy site

So I totally have gotten into Scentsy.  I never heard of it before and then a friend up the street show me hers and I had to have one too.  According to their site Scentsy is a wickless candle that is warmed to release the fragrance.  It’s warmed by ceramic warmer.  I like the ceramic plugins as well.  There is no fire just a small light bulb that slowly heats the wax.  They have every scent that you can imagine and just one brick in one warmers provides a constant scent in my downstairs.  Although I have a different scent in my kitchen.  They even have little warmers for your baby or your sports fan.  Great gift ideas too.  These are definite must have.  Click on the photo above to be directed to their site to find a representative near you. 

Scentsy does not endorse this page.  I’m just sharing what I enjoy.