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What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux

Cause some of y’all act like you don’t have any home training.  We gotta come behind your parents and re-raise you.  lol jk So here’s What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux.  I have added a few from the suggestions I have gotten and given credit to the originator.  Enjoy!

What You Not Gonna Do Is…

1. Know someone is dead wrong but you find a reason why they still a good person, especially when you don’t even know them.  ie The momma who killed her kids.

2.  Not pay child support for the kids you got but keep making more babies!<—Sherita

3.  Wait ’til your child is 18 to tell the daddy or your husband that the child is not his.

4.  Hold up the gym equipment talking on your cell phone.  You came to the gym to workout not socialize.<—Darcy

5.  Have a conversation with people and because you have a New York accent you try to out talk EVERYBODY.

6.  As a grown woman you should not own, wear, or borrow any article of clothing that bears such sayings as “Baby Girl”, “Diva”, “Ghetto Fabulous”, “Sexy”, “Gold Digga”…you get my drift.

7.  Not tell your friend she looks a hot mess.

8.  Be over the age of 40 and have body piercings except for your ears.

9.  Be too matchy matchy.  You shouldn’t have a pink shirt, belt, headband, shoes and nails.

10.Wait ’til tax time to become a baller, knowing good and well you are gonna be back on Section 8 by April or having to return that mess.

11.Not wear a bra when you leave the house…no explanation needed.

12.Assume your man or woman can read your mind…let them know exactly what you want.

13. “Play dumb” solely for the purpose of flirting…it is not cute.

14. Hit a man without expecting negative repercussions or getting a concussion.  Keep your hands to yourself.

15. Force your children to have the talent you never had, then get mad cause they aren’t good at it.

16. Slash tires, bust windows, key the exterior, spray paint vulgar words on your mates vehicle-especially if you’re gonna help get the car fixed once you calm down.

17. Brag about how your man loves you cause he’s there when you need him, not acknowledging it’s because he doesn’t have a job nor a car.

18. Be divorced for years still trying to keep tabs on your ex by attempting to pick information from your grown children…it’s over, everyone knows except you.

19. Date an older person and then complain about how old they act.

20. Give your child a toy at the store to shut them up while you shop and then get rid of it before you check out…it’s child abuse. 😀 (I’ve done this lol)

21. Tell your children your new boyfriend is their uncle…this will only confuse them in the long run.

22. Try to carry on a bag that needs to be checked, holding up the plane.<—Whitney

23. Have a camel toe…check yourself woman!

24. Wear colored undergarmets under white…it’s tacky.

25. Date your friends ex cause they’re fine.

26. Attempt to sell something used for the new price.

27. Get married to someone you know slept around beforehand and be surprised when it happens in your marriage.

28. Use Facebook to rant about your job and wonder why you lost your job.

29. Be a man and think you control the remote to the TV.

30. Watch the food network, concoct a meal and then force someone to eat it…you’re not a gourmet chef.

31. Watch the food network knowing you don’t cook.

32. Go in debt buying everything from the infomercials…then be mad cause it doesn’t work like they said it should. SHAM-WOW!

33. Every-time you update your Facebook status it’s depressing.

34. Be mad at your mate for not getting you a Valentines gift but you get whatever you want every other day.

35. Keep your apartment dirty and scared to call the landlord to fix stuff cause you have to clean up.

36. Buy a bunch of junk you don’t need and not pay your rent or car payment… take care of home first.

37. When you see a tow truck in your neighborhood you automatically assume they coming to get your car.

38. Blame the teacher cause your child got a bad grade.

39. Live up North and complain about the snow…move!

40. Go to a remote location in the world where they have unheard of diseases and wonder how you got sick.

41. Dress your baby girl like a baby hooker and wonder why she’s pregnant at 11…you’re sending the wrong message.

42. Broadcast your business on Facebook and turn around and tell people to stay out of your business.

43. Rant about someone on Facebook and then use their initials like we don’t know who you talking about.

44. Ship your children off to their grandparents for the summer talking about they need some discipline.

45. Delete people on Facebook thinking you really hurting them in real life…get it together.

46. Blame the devil or God for everything bad that happens to you.

47. Make up your own religion.

48. Dress like you going to the club just to go to Wal-Mart.

49. Wear UGG boots in the summer.

50. Beg your man to hit you and when he does you call the cops.(Sounds unheard of but it happens. )

51. Use your children as leverage against their father…because it didn’t work out with you and the father you do not have the right to interfere in their relationship, GROW UP!

52. Have children for your financial gain.  ie, child support, section 8, etc.

53. Have children to trap a man.

54. Be rich acting like a hood rat on TV. (All the real housewives, baller wives, etc)

55. Yell across the mall or store at your friend.

56. Watch Forensic Files to educate yourself on how to commit a homicide and get away with it.

57. Sleep with everyone at your job and wonder why you’re not getting promoted.

58. Have an argument in public and tell everyone to mind they business.

59. Have your income tax check spent before you get it.

60. Pass gas, not say anything, and then apologize once someone smells it.

61. Blame your kids for your breakdown.

62. Stay up late and wonder why you are so tired. 😀

63. Butt in my conversation when no one is talking to you or called your name…nosey.

64. Use big words and not know what they mean.

65. Try everything celebrities tell you to try.

66. Influence me to try some illegals drugs cause it make you feel good.

67. Start experimenting with drugs as an adult like you don’t know any better…you already know the outcome.

68. Have grown children and not encourage them to be independent.

69. Do what they do in rap videos.

70. Live your life based on your horoscope predictions.

71. Think because you’re black and its black history month you can do and say what you want. ( Just telling you what I’ve seen and heard.)

72. Be rude to someone and you don’t even know them.

73. Use patio furniture inside the house like it’s a living room set.

74. Buy an electric car and be mad at the electric company  because your bill is too high.

75. Get a tattoo in remembrance of everybody you know that dies.

76. Yell at the actors during a movie like they can hear you. lol

77. Consider yourself someone’s friend and tell all their business to everyone behind their back…you are not their friend.

78. Spend Valentines day stalking your ex.

79. Go to the movies with your kids and break out ziplock bags of snacks. (I’ve done this)

80. Think everyone is out to steal your pin when you swipe your card at the store-you do realize they need the card number as well.

81. Call people while you are pooping…hello people can tell you’re in the bathroom. 😀

82. Hit someone and not expect them to hit you back.

83. Say and do hurtful things to your mate and wonder why they don’t want to be with you anymore…psst it’s because they can’t trust you with their most intimate emotions.

84. Be talking loud in public and get mad when someone tells you to shut up.

85. Steal something from someone and then floss it in front of them.

86. Tell your mate to get out and get mad when they pack their stuff and leave then beg them to stay…stop playing with people emotions, trying to control them.

87. When you leave, act like you forgot something just so you can come back. 😀

88. Spy on your ex through their family members.

89. Hide your vehicle cause you know you haven’t been making your payments.

90. Get mad cause you were eavesdropping on people and realize they were talking about you.

91. Come to my house blow up my toilet and leave stains…you nasty.

92. Get mad when you lose at a board game. rotflmbo(my family is so guilty of this…we HATE to lose even if it’s Trouble. :D)

93. Shoot someone over a game of Spades…people get mad when you renege. 😀

94. Try to pick up women in a minivan…go home to your wife and kids.

95. Think you look cool in your minivan.

96. Put 22″ rims on your minivan…it’s a family vehicle it looks just plain silly.

97. Try on new shoes with holes in your socks.

98. Let someone use your bathroom and you haven’t cleaned it…that’s why I wait ’til I get home.

99. Have expensive rims and sound system on your car when it’s falling apart.

100. Commit an offense that is going to end up on my next “What You Not Gonna Do Is…” list.

This is for entertainment purposes.  I hope you enjoyed it. 😉


Stop Pointing Fingers and Accept Responsibility

I recently watched “The Facebook Obsession” on CNBC.  In it they tried to cover the good, bad and ugly of Facebook.  Facebook is used to connect friends, family, co-workers, everyone.  I do not want to talk about all the technical and privacy issues with Facebook.  My beef is with the people who want to blame Facebook for ruining their lives.  On “The Facebook Obsession” they interviewed a woman who was fired from a high school she was employed at because of a post she put on her page.  This woman got on her Facebook page to complain about work and even went so far as to call the students and parents names and how glad she would be to move on.  She thought that her status update was only going to be seen by her friends and family.  She claims she had no idea that Facebook had changed the privacy settings and that now everyone could see what she posted.  REALLY LADY!  It is not Facebook’s fault that you ignorantly decided to rant about your job on an internet site!  You don’t know how to pick up a phone to discuss private matters like that.  You have a Doctorate, you are smart enough to know that regardless of what you “think” your settings are, when you conduct business on the internet “assume” everyone can see it.  Stop blaming Facebook and accept responsibility for your own actions.  I don’t know how you didn’t know the settings changed because I had a banner at the top of my screen when they changed and I changed mine.

I have seen news reports of couples talking about Facebook ruined my marriage or is the reason I got divorced.  NO, you are the reason your marriage was almost ruined or ended.  No one told you to get on Facebook and look up old flings or behave inappropriately.  YOU did that.  No one told you to click the “add friend” button on that guy or gal you had a crush on, YOU DID THAT.  What you not gonna do is sit there and act like you took no part in it and like Facebook “tempted” you.  You went looking for trouble and it found your behind.  Period point-blank.  You didn’t think you were gonna get caught.

Facebook is a tool.  Just like any tool it depends on whose hands it’s in.  You decide what you are going to do with it.  It has no ability to control how you interact with other people.  I am so sick of adults refusing to take responsibility for their actions.  I am SICK AND TIRED of people looking for everything else to blame except themselves.  While I’m talking about people wanting to blame outside forces for their stupidity, the same goes for these knuckleheads that want to blame Four Loko for them acting irrationally and doing stupid stuff under the influence.  It is not Four Loko’s fault that you want to consume an alcoholic beverage and think that you’re not going to do anything stupid.  PLEASE!  No one forced you to drink it.  You drink at your own risk.  Anytime you use any substance it is at your own risk.  You can’t come back later and blame the alcohol company cause you went streaking, felt sick, or blacked out.  COME ON PEOPLE! Get with the program.  Know your limits or better yet stop drinking.  It is time to start looking at yourselves and your own actions and just admit that you messed up, learn from it and move on.  I guess it takes stupid people to lead by example! (Now we know) lol<–stole that from my sister-in-law.  I’M JUST SAYING, DANG!!!

It’s Official…I’m Addicted to Cityville!

I started playing Cityville via Facebook in early December.  I was instantly hooked.  It reminded me of a game called Sim City that I used to play with my brother when we were little.  I tried to recruit my friends and family to the game because I needed more neighbors for the missions and to open new venues and what-not.  Some were takers and a few who act like they’re too serious to play games on Facebook denied me. I didn’t let that stop me.  I continued to expand and grow.  I reached level 60 before I knew it.  I completed all the tasks and it was just free play for me…or so I thought.  They have recently added new missions, buildings, houses and sites and today I have been moved up to level 63.  What, new levels too!!!  That’s all I needed to become hooked on this game.  I have I don’t know how many friends now as I have joined a private group of Cityville members where we discuss the game and get whatever we need to complete our missions.  I know you may be thinking, “but Natasha you don’t know these people”.  Now now no worries,  I have created a “list” just for Cityville friends that I do not know and they do not have access to my personal and private information as you can set that up in your privacy settings.  If you need further details on that let me know and I’ll walk you through it.  Well I have to go now my City awaits.  I need to help the doctor go on a date and need 6 roses.  😀  Ta ta for now.  Oh and if you need a neighbor add me.  It’s that serious.  lol

UPDATE: Before you start adding friends follow these steps. From the Home screen click Friends on the left hand side of the screen. Then click “Edit Friends” on the next screen. At the top you’ll see the option to “Create a List”. Enter the desired name for the Cityville “stranger friends” that you will add. After you have created the “list” click Account-Privacy in the upper right hand side of the page. At the bottom you will see “customize settings” now go down the list and click the drop down choose “custom” add the name you chose for the cityville “stranger friends” to the “hide this from” portion. Do this for all the settings you do not wish to share. Even your photo albums.

Also, I have gotten questions regarding the Roses mission for the doctor.  It took me two weeks to get four roses.  You obtain the roses from the flower shop.  So after that long I thought there was a glitch.  What I did was clicked on the Help tab and did a live chat with Zynga.  I asked if there was a glitch and the rep gave me the rest of the roses I needed.  So apparently there is a glitch.  If ever you run into an issue I suggest going to Zynga’s help page and do a live chat.  They respond quickly and are very helpful.

What You NOT Gonna Do Is….Top 100

I collaborated with my husband and sister-in-law to come up with 100 offenses people commit everyday.  This is meant for fun.  Enjoy.

What you not gonna do is…

1.  Talk to me like you crazy! Or better yet Talk to me like I’m crazy!

2.   Be mad cause they don’t make movies on VHS.

3.  Ask me to borrow money to pay a bill after you blew your money on crap.

4.  Walk around with your hair done and your child’s head looks a hot mess.

5.   Flirt with my man in my face then acknowledge me when you’re finished like I was never there.

6.  Leave one slice of bread in the bag.

7.  Park in the spot you know I park in everyday since I moved in.

8.  Have short hair one week and long hair the next, talking about it’s yours.

9.  Talk through the whole movie.

10. Ask for a ride and don’t offer me gas money.

11.Meet a woman who already has children and they’re calling you daddy within a month.

12.Return an item back to Wal-Mart that you didn’t even buy there.

13.Pay for your stuff with a bunch of pennies while there is a long line behind you.

14.Sing in public when you know you can’t sing.

15.Use the bathroom and not wash your hands.

16.Be a woman with a full mustache and beard.

17.Blame McDonald’s for your weight gain.

18.Blame Four Loko for you doing stupid stuff.

19.Have your child swimming in a pamper.

20.Wear sandals without a pedicure.

21.Wear shoes that are too small for your feet.

22.Wear clothes two sizes too small.

23.Be dark skinned and put on lighter makeup.

24.Buy your child clothes 3 sizes too big, talking bout he’s going to grow into them.

25.Blame TSA for feeling you up when YOU denied the X-Ray body scan.

26.Get in the line to pay for something knowing you don’t have enough money and act like you don’t know why your card got declined.

27.Go to the store in your pajamas and wonder why everyone is looking at you funny.

28.Drive an Escalade and pay for your gas in quarters.

29. Walk around with capris on and snow boots.

30.Wear courderoys in the summer.

31.Dress your dog better than you dress your kids.

32.Call my house phone and ask where I’m at.

33.Have your kids running around the store like it’s an amusement park.

34.Keep your Christmas lights up year round and have the nerve to turn ’em on.

35.Cut me off on the highway and then slowdown.

36.Have a bootleg handbag and lie and say you brought it from the store.

37.Wear socks with sandals.

38.Have 8 people in your family and live in a two bedroom apartment.

39.Start drama and sit back and act like you’re the innocent one.

40.Talk mess when you know you can’t fight then threaten the person by telling them you’re gonna call your cousins.

41.Go out in public when your head looks a hot mess.

42.Keep braids in too long with your new growth growing into a mini afro.

43.Wear a sleeveless top when you haven’t shaved under your arms.

44.Have funky breath and be all in my face.

45.Text while driving.

46.Be 9 months pregnant in the club.

47.Be pregnant and not know your due date.

48.Drive around with 3 rims and a donut.

49.Ask to borrow 3 dollars for gas.

50.Ask to borrow something, not give it back and then claim it’s yours.

51.Say negative stuff about your mate and still be with them.

51.Be 30 years old living with your momma talking about it’s cause you’re in college.

52.Have 5 kids and 3 different baby daddies.

53.Catch a wild animal and claim you gonna tame it like a pet.

54.Get a crackhead to work on your car for a beer and when it breaks down get mad at the crackhead.

55.Buy a bootleg movie and get mad when someone stands up and you can’t see.

56.Have your hair rainbow colors and wonder why you can’t get a job.

57.Wear a V-neck and powder still on your chest.

58.Be a jay-walker, and when you almost get hit look back at me with an attitude.

59.Go to the gym stretch and leave.

60.Go jogging with a black hoodie and ski mask.

61.Eat off my plate.

62.Get a haircut with a head full of dandruff.

63.Be 30 years old with a grill in your mouth.

64.Use the PS3 as a babysitter.

65.Have a gay friend and when you introduce them to someone you say, “this is my gay friend…”

66.Tell people you graduated from high school and you don’t have proof.

67.Buy expensive stuff so you can pawn it later.

68.Have 65inch flat screen in a trailer.

69.Have expensive stuff in a section 8 apartment.

70.Make a road trip knowing you don’t have enough gas money.

71.Be loud in the library.

72.Claim you have a degree and say no one with hire you because you’re overqualified.

73.Be a part-time Christian.  In the club on Saturday and church on Sunday.

74.Wear your club clothes to church on Sunday.

75.Reach in the collection plate for change.

76.Be ugly and swear you’re cute.

77.Take communion and ask for more wine.

78.Catch the Holy Ghost and bump into everybody or to show off your new dance.

79.Be married and your boyfriend live with y’all.

80.Be cheering for the criminals on Cops.

81.Be a judge on American Idol when you can’t sing either.

82.Rent rims and tires.

83.Lie to me and then make up a lie to cover that lie.

84.Try to sell me bootleg perfume in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

85.Use dish detergent to wash your car.

86.Wash styrofome plates.

87.Start cleaning up when company come over.

88.Be 40 years old dressing like your child.

89.Have sex unprotected with multiple partners and wonder why you got a STD.

90.Be a Christian and hate everyone who isn’t Christian.

91.Have a car and put the car logo in the back window.

92.Put everyones name in your family on your back window.

93.Stalk me on Facebook.

94.Blame Facebook for breaking up your marriage.

95.Rob your neighbor and then invite them over to watch the game on their TV.

96.Wait til your child turns 18 and then claim it ain’t yours.

97.Have TVs in your  car and you’re single with no children.

98.Make your child dance for company.

99.Order a super sized meal and ask for a diet drink.

100.Get mad ’cause half of the stuff on the list is about you!  I’M JUST SAYING!

*Send me your suggestions for “What You Not Gonna Do”  for an upcoming Top 100 list.  🙂

Types of People That Should Be Deleted According to Their Facebook Status Updates

On November 2009 my sister and I sat down and decided to put together the Top 10 Facebook Status offenders.  It was a light-hearted attempt to make Facebook a better place for friends…while poking fun at them  lol  🙂  So here it is, enjoy:

This is all out of fun, I’ve called out myself too. We’ve all been guilty of at least a couple of these infractions. But seriously #1 and #2 gotta go 😀

1. The depressing people; this has got to stop!
Resolution: Focus on what you DO have and what IS happening and not what you don’t have or what’s not happening. Facebook is a happy place 🙂

2. People who use their status to call specific people out, but play it off as a general statement.
Resolution: Either tag the person you’re talking about or better yet, tell them to their face. The subliminal messages gotta go. Tackle your problema head on and move on..NEXT!

3. People who write novels. They should have NEVER extended that box!

Resolution: Keep it short and sweet people! This is not a bio.That’s what your profile “info” tab is for 😉 Or better yet, write a note.

4. People who use their status as a popularity contest. We’re already your friend no need to rally up support.
Resolution: Besides you’re probably depressing #1 even more.

5. People whose statuses look like this –>….
Resolution: Why say anything?

6. People who repost their status AT LEAST seven times due to a grammatical error.
Resolution: Proofread your status before you click submit. And if you don’t know how to spell something just ask Jeeves.

7. The Hopeless Romantic. This is a two parter.
For those in a relationship: Your partner is not that great (I’m not bitter :P)
For the single ones; this aint Myspace or E-Harmony!

8. People who ALWAYS attach a video to their status like it’s a trademark. You cannot standout or be special on Facebook!
Resolution: If people don’t’s not important. lol

9. People who use their status to have personal conversations.
Resolution: Take that mess to the wall!

10. People who use their status to take a poll… i.e. “Hey, facebook what do you think of this?”

I hope you all were able to laugh at yourself.
This was a collaboration by Natasha Evans and Whitney Ellis=SISTERS!