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What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux


Cause some of y’all act like you don’t have any home training.  We gotta come behind your parents and re-raise you.  lol jk So here’s What You Not Gonna Do Is…Part Deux.  I have added a few from the suggestions I have gotten and given credit to the originator.  Enjoy!

What You Not Gonna Do Is…

1. Know someone is dead wrong but you find a reason why they still a good person, especially when you don’t even know them.  ie The momma who killed her kids.

2.  Not pay child support for the kids you got but keep making more babies!<—Sherita

3.  Wait ’til your child is 18 to tell the daddy or your husband that the child is not his.

4.  Hold up the gym equipment talking on your cell phone.  You came to the gym to workout not socialize.<—Darcy

5.  Have a conversation with people and because you have a New York accent you try to out talk EVERYBODY.

6.  As a grown woman you should not own, wear, or borrow any article of clothing that bears such sayings as “Baby Girl”, “Diva”, “Ghetto Fabulous”, “Sexy”, “Gold Digga”…you get my drift.

7.  Not tell your friend she looks a hot mess.

8.  Be over the age of 40 and have body piercings except for your ears.

9.  Be too matchy matchy.  You shouldn’t have a pink shirt, belt, headband, shoes and nails.

10.Wait ’til tax time to become a baller, knowing good and well you are gonna be back on Section 8 by April or having to return that mess.

11.Not wear a bra when you leave the house…no explanation needed.

12.Assume your man or woman can read your mind…let them know exactly what you want.

13. “Play dumb” solely for the purpose of flirting…it is not cute.

14. Hit a man without expecting negative repercussions or getting a concussion.  Keep your hands to yourself.

15. Force your children to have the talent you never had, then get mad cause they aren’t good at it.

16. Slash tires, bust windows, key the exterior, spray paint vulgar words on your mates vehicle-especially if you’re gonna help get the car fixed once you calm down.

17. Brag about how your man loves you cause he’s there when you need him, not acknowledging it’s because he doesn’t have a job nor a car.

18. Be divorced for years still trying to keep tabs on your ex by attempting to pick information from your grown children…it’s over, everyone knows except you.

19. Date an older person and then complain about how old they act.

20. Give your child a toy at the store to shut them up while you shop and then get rid of it before you check out…it’s child abuse. 😀 (I’ve done this lol)

21. Tell your children your new boyfriend is their uncle…this will only confuse them in the long run.

22. Try to carry on a bag that needs to be checked, holding up the plane.<—Whitney

23. Have a camel toe…check yourself woman!

24. Wear colored undergarmets under white…it’s tacky.

25. Date your friends ex cause they’re fine.

26. Attempt to sell something used for the new price.

27. Get married to someone you know slept around beforehand and be surprised when it happens in your marriage.

28. Use Facebook to rant about your job and wonder why you lost your job.

29. Be a man and think you control the remote to the TV.

30. Watch the food network, concoct a meal and then force someone to eat it…you’re not a gourmet chef.

31. Watch the food network knowing you don’t cook.

32. Go in debt buying everything from the infomercials…then be mad cause it doesn’t work like they said it should. SHAM-WOW!

33. Every-time you update your Facebook status it’s depressing.

34. Be mad at your mate for not getting you a Valentines gift but you get whatever you want every other day.

35. Keep your apartment dirty and scared to call the landlord to fix stuff cause you have to clean up.

36. Buy a bunch of junk you don’t need and not pay your rent or car payment… take care of home first.

37. When you see a tow truck in your neighborhood you automatically assume they coming to get your car.

38. Blame the teacher cause your child got a bad grade.

39. Live up North and complain about the snow…move!

40. Go to a remote location in the world where they have unheard of diseases and wonder how you got sick.

41. Dress your baby girl like a baby hooker and wonder why she’s pregnant at 11…you’re sending the wrong message.

42. Broadcast your business on Facebook and turn around and tell people to stay out of your business.

43. Rant about someone on Facebook and then use their initials like we don’t know who you talking about.

44. Ship your children off to their grandparents for the summer talking about they need some discipline.

45. Delete people on Facebook thinking you really hurting them in real life…get it together.

46. Blame the devil or God for everything bad that happens to you.

47. Make up your own religion.

48. Dress like you going to the club just to go to Wal-Mart.

49. Wear UGG boots in the summer.

50. Beg your man to hit you and when he does you call the cops.(Sounds unheard of but it happens. )

51. Use your children as leverage against their father…because it didn’t work out with you and the father you do not have the right to interfere in their relationship, GROW UP!

52. Have children for your financial gain.  ie, child support, section 8, etc.

53. Have children to trap a man.

54. Be rich acting like a hood rat on TV. (All the real housewives, baller wives, etc)

55. Yell across the mall or store at your friend.

56. Watch Forensic Files to educate yourself on how to commit a homicide and get away with it.

57. Sleep with everyone at your job and wonder why you’re not getting promoted.

58. Have an argument in public and tell everyone to mind they business.

59. Have your income tax check spent before you get it.

60. Pass gas, not say anything, and then apologize once someone smells it.

61. Blame your kids for your breakdown.

62. Stay up late and wonder why you are so tired. 😀

63. Butt in my conversation when no one is talking to you or called your name…nosey.

64. Use big words and not know what they mean.

65. Try everything celebrities tell you to try.

66. Influence me to try some illegals drugs cause it make you feel good.

67. Start experimenting with drugs as an adult like you don’t know any better…you already know the outcome.

68. Have grown children and not encourage them to be independent.

69. Do what they do in rap videos.

70. Live your life based on your horoscope predictions.

71. Think because you’re black and its black history month you can do and say what you want. ( Just telling you what I’ve seen and heard.)

72. Be rude to someone and you don’t even know them.

73. Use patio furniture inside the house like it’s a living room set.

74. Buy an electric car and be mad at the electric company  because your bill is too high.

75. Get a tattoo in remembrance of everybody you know that dies.

76. Yell at the actors during a movie like they can hear you. lol

77. Consider yourself someone’s friend and tell all their business to everyone behind their back…you are not their friend.

78. Spend Valentines day stalking your ex.

79. Go to the movies with your kids and break out ziplock bags of snacks. (I’ve done this)

80. Think everyone is out to steal your pin when you swipe your card at the store-you do realize they need the card number as well.

81. Call people while you are pooping…hello people can tell you’re in the bathroom. 😀

82. Hit someone and not expect them to hit you back.

83. Say and do hurtful things to your mate and wonder why they don’t want to be with you anymore…psst it’s because they can’t trust you with their most intimate emotions.

84. Be talking loud in public and get mad when someone tells you to shut up.

85. Steal something from someone and then floss it in front of them.

86. Tell your mate to get out and get mad when they pack their stuff and leave then beg them to stay…stop playing with people emotions, trying to control them.

87. When you leave, act like you forgot something just so you can come back. 😀

88. Spy on your ex through their family members.

89. Hide your vehicle cause you know you haven’t been making your payments.

90. Get mad cause you were eavesdropping on people and realize they were talking about you.

91. Come to my house blow up my toilet and leave stains…you nasty.

92. Get mad when you lose at a board game. rotflmbo(my family is so guilty of this…we HATE to lose even if it’s Trouble. :D)

93. Shoot someone over a game of Spades…people get mad when you renege. 😀

94. Try to pick up women in a minivan…go home to your wife and kids.

95. Think you look cool in your minivan.

96. Put 22″ rims on your minivan…it’s a family vehicle it looks just plain silly.

97. Try on new shoes with holes in your socks.

98. Let someone use your bathroom and you haven’t cleaned it…that’s why I wait ’til I get home.

99. Have expensive rims and sound system on your car when it’s falling apart.

100. Commit an offense that is going to end up on my next “What You Not Gonna Do Is…” list.

This is for entertainment purposes.  I hope you enjoyed it. 😉

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Childs Best Interest


Halle Berry has been in the news lately because she is in a custody battle with her daughter’s father.  I do not know all the details in this very personal issue but I personally know about custody issues. 

I got pregnant with my oldest son, now 13, at 16 years old.  As you can imagine I was very afraid.  I juggled between keeping him or giving him up for adoption.  When I finally decided to keep my baby I told his father that no matter what happens between us that I would never keep him away from his son.  After I graduated from high school we married and I joined the military.  My son stayed with his father and my parents throughout my training and part of my first duty station.  During my time away from my husband I reflected on our relationship.  I went through a lot of mistreatment through the years with him and was afraid to experience that with him for the rest of my life.  About a year after being married I decided that I didn’t want to be married to him.  We divorced and I brought my son overseas with me.  About a year after my divorce I married my current husband.  I later got out of the military and my husband was stationed in El Paso, where my family resides.

Through the years my son would visit back and forth with his father.  In the beginning our communications with one another were filled with yelling and sometimes name calling.  We gradually learned how to better communicate to be able to parent our son together.  Our son even stayed the school year with his father during his 2nd and 4th grade school years.  During this time our communication became a lot better.  We would talk about any and everything.  One could even go so far as to say we were friends.  Whenever my ex-husband wanted to see his son all he had to do was call.  No matter if he paid child support or not, no matter if it was his scheduled visitation, anytime, all he had to do was call.  Things were good, or so I thought.

Shortly after I gave birth to my baby boy and was released from the hospital, in February 2007, I was served custody papers.  My son was already staying with his dad for his 4th grade year.  My ex-husband gave me no sign that this was coming.  He changed his numbers and ceased contact with me.  I thought I was going to die, that I would never see my son again.  All these years I thought I was doing what was best for not just my son but also his father who loved him very much, I was being sued for custody.  Unbeknownst to me, when you have primary custody and you allow your child to live with the other parent for 6 months or longer you automatically lose your custody to the other parent.  During this time he even claimed that our home was unstable because of the military and having to move.  Needless to say I was hurt and wanted my son back.  During this time I grew very angry and bitter with his father for being so underhanded to me after all that I had done for him to maintain his relationship with his son and he pulled this.  The judge granted custody back to me and my son returned home in the summer of 2007. 

In the beginning after the case my ex stopped calling our son and asking to visit with him.  My son grew angry and I couldn’t stand to see him like that.  I called his dad and left a message telling him that no matter what we go through he needs to continue to be there for his son. (Something like that, I was still angry with him myself)  His dad gradually started coming back around.  We eventually worked through our differences and he apologized for what he did to me.  Things were looking up.  My son would visit his father when it was scheduled. 

In 2008 my husband deployed to Afghanistan.  It was a difficult time for our family.  My oldest son was having problems in school and was fighting a lot.  In early 2009 we received orders to PCS to South Carolina.  I told our children.  None of them were happy about moving to South Carolina and they all wanted to stay in Texas.  My oldest son was especially upset about this possible move. He didn’t want to leave his friends.  He asked me if he could stay with his dad during this move and I told him no.  I wasn’t going to be sued again, I thought to myself.  He was angry with my decision and really started acting out.  He kept acting out and wouldn’t listen to anything I asked of him.  It got so bad that I had to consider that staying with his father was probably best.  

I finally gave in because I didn’t know what else to do.  I had to remove myself from the situation and put myself in my son’s shoes.  He kept asking me why couldn’t he stay with his dad.  I had to really sit there and ponder that question.  This is his father, his other parent, not a stranger.  Could he really not parent his son just because we weren’t together?  Is living with mom always best?  I called his dad and asked him if it was he would alright with him if our son stayed with him and of course he said it was fine with him. 

 As the summer approached and time grew near for my husband to return, my son grew anxious and acting out even more.  He was staying out passed his curfew and defying everything I said.  I called his father and told him that if our son didn’t straighten up he wasn’t going to stay with him.  My son heard what was said and became furious.  He lunged and attacked me.  At this time he was taller and bigger than me.  I never thought I would see that day that I would have to fight my son.  He finally calmed down and the MPs confined him to his room until his dad arrived to pick him up from Dallas, which was three hours away from where we resided. 

My son is now living with his father and doing well.  He’s not getting into so much trouble and he’s making good grades.  My heart aches for him everyday but I know that he is where he needs to be.  I recently visited with  him and went to his football games, which he is great at.  He is so tall and becoming an amazing young man.  He is a bit on the selfish side but it’s the teen years so I’m sure this is a phase and he will grow out of it. 

I had to learn that what is best for your child is not always what you want.  What’s best for a child is to have both of their parents, even if they’re not together.  It is really hard on them when their parents aren’t together.  I watched and listened to my son so desperately want his parents together like his siblings.  No matter how great our homes were and filled with love, he always felt and still feels out-of-place.  I don’t know how to help him with those feelings but I know as he gets older and gains a better understanding he will be fine.  His father and I keep reassuring him that he is loved by so many people.  As parents we have to put our feelings aside and do what is best for our children so they can be as happy as possible.  I’m just saying.

Friends…who needs ’em?


So I’m talking on the phone with a long time friend and we begin discussing how as you get older and more content with being by yourself you have less tolerance for things you use to put up with when you were younger.  Toxic friends and our little pet peeves about friendships that’s what I want to share.

Years ago I got to know a lady through my children‘s football league.  In the beginning we hit it off well but the relationship gradually started to change for the worse.  My children really didn’t get along with her children and they would get irritated when I told them they were coming over.  Anytime she would call me it was always hey girl what you doing today, tomorrow, next week.  She had my days planned for me before I could plan them and she wasn’t one that understood NO.  Gradually I had to stop answering her calls until she finally left me alone.  You may say was cruel or wrong.  I say, I had to get away from her and fast.  I’m just saying.

Then there are the friends that always want you to come and see them.  They never come to your house you always have to make the trip to their home. It’s more convenient for them if you get off your butt and visit.   My biggest pet peeve are the one’s that YOU make plans to hang out with your children or one another together and at the last-minute they ALWAYS have a reason why they can’t make it BUT when THEY make the plans you better jump and do what they have planned.

I definitely hate when someone calls me and most of the conversation is filled with them talking to EVERYONE in the background.  Hey you knew you were busy when you called me, call me back when it’s not so hectic.

Now I know I’m not perfect and I try not to be the offender.  If I am please bring it to my attention so it can get fixed.  All I’m saying is please try to be the best friend you can be because if not who needs ya.  I’m just saying.